To Fill an Empty Heart
by crimsontears82684
Summary: Family was supposed to mean something but the family she thought she had was never real. Rated for language and adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

A/N: I do not own Fairy Tail (obviously!). Story is just for fun!

* * *

Lucy was tired. No, she wasn't just tired; she was exhausted. As she strolled through the familiar streets of Magnolia, she thought back on her last mission with weariness and pride. It was the first she had taken on by herself and she had finished it well, pushing herself more than usual. It was supposed to take 3 weeks but she had finished in only 10 days. '150,000 jewels!' she thought happily 'I'll have enough for rent and then some.' Smiling, she began to hurry towards her destination, hoping for nothing more than a warm reception and a hot shower.

As the stellar mage came upon her apartment, she hoped that her boyfriend of six months the fire dragon slayer, Natsu, would be home. They had moved in together after two months of dating seeing as how he spent more time at her place than his. They shared a bed almost every night but had not gotten past some heavy petting. 'Not that it was my choice' she thought moodily, since it had always been Natsu that stopped things before they got any further. Walking up the ledge near the water, the boaters warned her to be careful as they always did. Lucy waved at them and continued her balancing act. Smiling, she saw that it was quiet in her neighborhood today. Noting that her windows were open, she peered up at them, happy to finally be home. 'That's odd.' she thought, spotting a pink head of hair moving rhythmically and hearing a woman's loud moans. Creeping closer to the building, she distinctly heard her boyfriend moan loudly, "Lisanna!" followed by a husky "Oh.. Natsu..." Eyes wide, brimming with tears, Lucy staggered away from the building. She said nothing, thought nothing, felt nothing, as she made her way to the one place she could find some solace and, maybe, some answers; the Fairy Tail guild hall, her second home.

* * *

Arriving at the guild, the shaken girl had decided against coming in through the front door. Lucy really didn't want to face the guild as she was, not yet. Quietly she instead moved her way around the building to come through the back door into the stock room. Leaving her bags from travel just inside the door, she made her way up the back stairs into the Masters office, praying it was empty, to drop off the mission marker, showing that she had indeed completed her mission so that she could collect her jewels. 'I'll need the money now to figure out what I'm going to do' she thought.

Lucy took a moment in the quiet, empty office to calm herself before making her way back down through the store-room into the main area. Finally calm enough to function, she made her way down the back stairs, focused on her breathing. 'Someone here will have the answers I need,' she convinced herself, ' I just need to ask the right questions of the right person.' Picking her way through the storage area, she stopped just short of the opening to steel herself when she heard began pieces of a conversation. She wouldn't have stopped in the shocked state she was in but she had heard her name then Natsu's. She couldn't move, she had to hear what they had to say. So she waited in the shadows, and she listened straining her ears as far as she could.

"... when Natsu will tell her?" Levy said. Lucy knew the voice of her best girl friend and was shocked that Levy hadn't told her something that could possibly be terribly important.

"I have no idea" stated Mirajane. She sounded bored, like they had this conversation hundreds of times and that answer was always the same.

"Well, he better get on it soon," added Cana loudly, "Lucy will be back in about a week and they can't keep fuckin' like rabbits when she gets back." Lucy heard a glass slam on the bar and Cana ask for another. Lucy was startled at this admission. 'So that had been them at her apartment, there was no doubting it now.' she admitted to herself ruefully. She was shocked though, that Cana hadn't let something like this out earlier, knowing how her mouth is after a barrel or three.

"Sh.." whispered Mira "don't talk so loud! Everyone doesn't really need to hear this conversation do they?"

She sounded agitated. 'Get agitated, Mira.' thought Lucy 'I wish Cana would have been louder about it earlier. Maybe then I wouldn't be going through all this.' Lucy caught her sob before it sounded. Calming down slightly, she forced herself to listen on.

"Mira, everyone BUT the girl involved and a handful of others knows already." Levy whined, " I really wish that you, Natsu and Lisanna hadn't sworn us to secrecy. She deserves to know, Mira!"

"I know that!" Mira snapped "But Lisanna just came back, seemingly from the dead, and I just want her to be happy. She deserved happiness with us after she was gone for so long! Besides, Natsu and Lisanna already had history, with each other and the guild. Lucy on the other hand..."

Lucy's breath caught in her chest at this admission. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, and from Mirajane no less. 'So,' she sobbed inside her head 'everyone knows except me but it's all ok because THEY have history and Mira wants it.' She backed away from the door slowly, looking around zombie-like for a place to curl up in, to hide. Making her way back towards the stairs, Lucy spotted a space just big enough for her, under the stairs to the second floor and the Masters office .She fought to keep her sobs quiet, fought to keep from hyperventilating. Folding herself in under the stairs between some crates, she let her silent tears flow and let her heart scream out her pain in her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Lucy didn't know how long she had been under the stairs in the storage room at the guild. The light slanting in from the small window on the door told her that it was late in the day. Lucy didn't care what time it was, all she knew was that she could cry no more tears and that her legs and neck were cramped. Slowly scooting and stretching her self out of her hiding place, she stood up. 'Alright, I need some time to think.' With some resolution as to what she was going to do, Lucy made her way towards the back door to pick up her things.

As she was gathering her belongings, she heard foot steps behind her. Straightening up, she saw the Master smiling at her. "Lucy, my dear, I got your marker. Good job!" he beamed. "And here are your jewels."

Pay in hand, she smiled, "Thanks Master! I'll spend this well." Faking a yawn, she continued, "I'm exhausted! I think I'm going to go home and rest."

The Master smiled knowingly, "Alright then. Good night child."

Lucy bade him good evening and made her way out into the late afternoon light. Lucy hoped that _they_ were done and gone. She needed time to think, in her own home if she could. She needed time to decide. She needed time to shower and she wanted the time to, possibly,pack the rest of her things and decide her following actions. Lucy just needed time.

* * *

Finally making it home, she made a point of rattling her keys and the door handle to alert anyone who may still be in there that she was coming in. She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. "Thank God!" she whispered when she noticed that the apartment was empty.

Dropping her bags, she made her way into her small abode, turning on lights as she went through the rooms. Lucy wanted a hot shower but she needed a fresh change of clothes first. All her travel clothes needed to be washed. Opening her bedroom door, the first thing she noticed was that the bed was a mess. Next, she noticed the musky smell to the room. Closing her eyes so as not to see the bed, she felt her way over to the window and opened it to clear out the smell. Quickly turning around, she exhaled. Lucy moved towards her dresser stiffly. 'Don't look at it, Luce! Just don't think about it! Get your clothes and go!' Lucy repeated over and over in her head. Keeping her body turned away from her bed, although she couldn't keep her mind from straying over that way, she grabbed clothes making sure she had the basics and all but ran out of the room. Slamming the door shut, she felt the anger begin to build in her chest."Why the HELL should I be afraid of my damn apartment?!" she yelled to no one. Stomping off, she decided the shower was definitely needed after all she's been through today.

Standing in the hot stream, Lucy recalled her and Nastu's relationship. She needed to figure out when or where things went wrong. Had it all been her fault? Had she done something, said something that would have drove him to another? She began a mental over view of their sparse six months together.

The first couple of months had been amazing. Natsu was the same as ever but with the added benefit of being caring and affectionate. Their first date had been fun, if a bit of a disaster. Their first kiss had been awkward and shy. Soon after, though, things became easier, more natural. After a while, it just seemed right that Natsu would move in with her. Things were... comfortable, for a while. 'Even though Natsu wouldn't touch me past my waist', she thought, 'no matter how hard I tried. He obviously has no problem with such things now.'

As Lucy stepped out of the shower, she thought back to when things seemed to begin changing. As she dried off, she recalled the time in question. It had been the first time since they started dating that they took separate missions. Lucy, Erza and Gray went together, as Natsu, Lisanna and Elfman left together. Lucy's group came back after four days but Natsu's group was gone for 3 weeks. When they finally returned, she was so excited to have him home but Natsu didn't seem to feel the same, he was different. Well, he didn't seem different with anyone else just with Lucy and _her_, Lisanna. Natsu began refusing the touch or spend time with Lucy in public and only touched her at home if she begged. Some nights he didn't even come home. They slowly drifted apart and then she knew something was wrong but Natsu stanchly denied it. Lucy tried everything she could think of to get things back to the way they had been. She knew that they would settle into a routine and the passion would lessen over the course of the relationship but she didn't think it would happen after only 3 months. Before Lucy had left a week ago, on her first solo mission, she had decided that she would just let things lie as they were and maybe they would even themselves out. 'Maybe he just needs some time,' she had convinced herself.

As she got dressed, she admitted that she had been very wrong. It wasn't a problem with _her_, it was that cheating bastard, that slut and the entire guild. 'The fact that the ENTIRE guild knew and they didn't say anything' she thought, ' THAT is too much! And here I thought we were family. Nakama...'

The anger Lucy felt over the situation began to over power the sadness and hurt."Family doesn't lie to you about things like this." she started. "Family tells you the truth, even if it hurts! This guild was obviously never a family for me! I obviously don't have enough 'history' to make me worth it!"

Lucy had decided. With the injustice of it all, she knew what she needed to do to move on. She was going down to the guild hall and everyone, EVERYONE, was going to hear what she had to say. There was hell to be paid for the hurt and betrayal. Lucy would get her chance to vent and those in the wrong would feel their error.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Once Lucy had made up her mind, an eerie emptiness settled behind her anger. Absent mindedly, she had grabbed her white Fairy Tail shirt while trying to not look around her bedroom. Tearing it over her head she moved to throw it away from her. "On second thought..." she murmured. Laughing, she laid the shirt out on the table. She rummaged in her desk for a bit, finding what she needed. Gripping scissors and a black marker, she smiled. With a couple of snips, she turned the tunic length tank top into a cropped top with a jagged edge. Picking up the marker, she quickly slashed a large X across the Fairy Tail symbol. Replacing the cap, she smiled at her work. Quickly slipping the shirt back on, she made her way over to the mirror.

Newly cropped top, tight dark denim jeans, black knee-high heeled boots, belt with keys in holster and whip slung around her hips, she was happy with her slightly edgy look. 'Well, edgy for me' she thought. Running her fingers through her hair, she realized the last change she needed to make. Grasping the key she needed, she shouted, "Open! Gate of the crab, Cancer!" With a pop, Cancer appeared, "Ebi!"

Lucy plopped in a chair in front of her vanity. "I want it cut short. Something quick and manageable!" she stated.

"Are you sure, ebi?" he asked, catching her eyes in the mirror.

"Absolutely!" she confirmed, a steely glint in her eyes. "Alright, ebi!" and with a flash of scissors he cut Lucy's hair into chin length bob.

"All done, ebi!" Cancer said with a bow. "Thanks", Lucy said looking in the mirror. "No prob, ebi!" and with that he was gone.

With a final glance in the mirror, Lucy turned away. 'Natsu's such an idiot, he'll probably ask me why EdoLucy is here!' she snorted at this thought. Extracting the next key she needed, she lifted her hand, "Open! Gate of the virgin, Virgo!" With a pop, the pink haired spirit appeared at attention. "Yes, Mistress? What is my punishment?" she deadpanned.

Lucy smiled, "Oh, there will be no punishment for you this time! I need you do to me a favor?" As Lucy told her story and asked Virgo for her help, the spirit nodded with an almost anomalistic smile on her face and moved to begin. Satisfied that Virgo would handle things, Lucy had one more stop to make before she made her way to the guild hall. With a decidedly blank face, she stepped out of her apartment.

Lucy steeled herself as she made her way through the darkened streets of Magnolia. She jumped when she heard a small pop and felt a familiar hand on her shoulder.

"Loki", she said wearily.

"Hey, how you holding up?" the lion spirit asked with a small smile.

"Better, now that you're here." she sighed, "Walk with me to the guild? And wait for me after?"

"Of course." he murmured. Loki took Lucy's hand in his own and walked with her as she traversed the darkened town to confront her 'family'. Lucy wondered at how he knew what was going on but she figured that he _always_ knew so she let it go and just let him comfort her as much as she would let him.

* * *

Filled with renewed courage and rekindled anger after her thought filled walk across town, she walked boldly up to the guild doors. Taking a deep breath, with a quick glance at Loki and a small grimace of a smile, she pushed open the doors and took in the decidedly nauseating sight before her.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Everything, everyone, was _normal_! Lucy blinked as her eyes grew accustomed to the light. Taking quick strides and scanning the room, she made her way towards the bar

"Is that _Lucy_?!" "No, it can't be!" "It has to be, look at the keys and that rack. It's her!" "Shit..." . The room began to fill with hushed conversation as some realized and some questioned who she was.

Anger began to fill her sight, as she came upon the table closest to the bar. There, in plain sight, were Natsu and Lisanna, wrapped around each other talking to Levy and Mirajane. Levy noticed her first, her face paling in recognition. Levy stood up and made to move away but Lucy's glare had the girl sitting back down quickly. Lucy came right up behind the engrossed couple and stopped. At this point, the guild had gone quiet. Natsu and Lisanna were the only ones left talking as Mirajane had gone quiet when she noticed who was there. The couple noticed the silence and looked around the room trying to find the cause.

"Hi guys!" Lucy intoned with false cheer. "Lucy", Mira whispered her eyes wide and guilty.

"Lucy!" the couple exclaimed . Natsu quickly pushed Lisanna away, causing her to land on the floor besides the table. Natsu had stumbled to his feet. Lucy stepped aside as he tried to embrace her. "Don't touch me!" she snapped.

"H-Hey Luce, I missed you!" Nastu stuttered, "W-what did you do to your hair?" He lifted a hand up as if to stroke her hair but the look on Lucy's face made him stop. "Why did you wreck your guild shirt? And you're home early! H-how did the mission go?"

Lucy's grin was almost feral when she replied. "I got home early this afternoon. I went to the apartment but you were too..._busy_ to realize I came home. Once I realized you were too _entangled _to pay attention to me, I decided to make some small changes to my appearance."

"W-what do you.." Lucy held up her hand, stopping his statement.

"I know everything that's been going on, _everything_!" she yelled causing people around the room to jump. "Just about walked in on you and that stupid girl. And then I came to the guild for answers and solace, only to overhear that I would obviously find none." Levy, Cana and Mirajane flinched at this.

"So," she turned to Mira, "I take it everyone in this room has known the whole time then?"

In the face of Lucy's glare, Mira looked to the ground and whispered, "Yes. Everyone knew except you, Erza, Gray, and anyone that hasn't been to the guild in the past six months or so."

Lucy fought to keep her voice calm as her anger seemed to peak. "I see now..." she snarled, "That's why you sent those two on a long job. You knew they would never lie to me about something like this and ruin your sisters happiness. You didn't want to take the chance that things wouldn't go the way you wanted them to." Mira just nodded, offering no apology and no explanation.

"Well, then," Lucy smiled looking around, "I guess I see what 'family' and 'nakama' truly mean to the people in this guild. I just didn't have enough 'history' right everyone? I guess newbies like me just aren't as important as those who have been in the guild their whole lives. I guess I am seeing the true colors of this guild." The room was quiet.

Natsu stood up again and seemed to want to walk over to Lucy. Glaring at him, he stopped. Lisanna had picked her self up off the floor and was now seated back on the bench, staring at the table top. Lucy sauntered up to Natsu until she was so close that there was barely enough for a breath between them.

"You fucking disgust me!" Lucy whispered though her voice was steadily getting louder. "Coward! I loved you and would have given you anything but instead you've been fucking this... this _whore_ behind my back!" she yelled waving her hand towards the girl in question. Lisanna's head snapped up at this but Mira just shook her head to keep her quiet.

"This has obviously been going on for months, _months Natsu_! But you didn't have the balls to say anything! If this is how you show your love, I guess you never loved me." Lucy finished, chest heaving. Natsu stared at his former girlfriend in silence, guilt clear in his eyes. The stellar mage pushed past him and stood in front of the bar.

Looking around at the rest of the guild, she raised her voice even louder addressing everyone else, "And each one of you that kept your mouths shut are just a much to blame! Cowards! Liars! Even the ones I counted as some of my best friends", pointing at Levy and Cana both looking down and away from their lost friend, "didn't say a thing! A guild of fucking cowards! If this is how you treat 'family' and 'nakama' then I don't want any thing to do with it!" Lucy slammed her hand down on the bar at this and her guild mark vanished in a burst of gold sparks. Everyone gasped at this and stared, wide-eyed at the angry mage.

"I'm done with this den of liars!" Lucy intoned across the hall, "I am better off on my own! A life with no family or nakama is preferable to a life in a guild like Fairy Tail! And, mark my words, _everyone_ I come across for the rest of my life will hear the truth that is Fairy Tail!" With a final glare around the guild hall, Lucy turned on her heel, head held high and walked out of the place that was once her home, the hall filled with complete silence.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Along with this update which will complete this story, for now, I have revised and updated all the previous chapters. I am a nut about editing and formating, so I will probably edit and revise past chapters with every couple of updates. I know, its annoying and anal retentive, but thats just how I write, sorry. I thank everyone for taking their time reading this and if you reviewed you get an extra cookie!

Chapter 4

Loki was waiting, exactly where Lucy had left him. Loki moved beside Lucy as she walked away. "I heard you in there." He stated blandly. "I was surprised that it was so quiet. Accusations like that usually start a massive brawl." Lucy smirked in reply, "Guilt tends to make the mouth dry." Grabbing the lions hand, Lucy silently and steadily moved towards her apartment.

After a time of silence, Loki glanced over at his master. "Do you think he'll follow you?" he asked.

Lucy thought for a moment, then answered. "Probably. He will try to talk things over or at least get me to give him a key to the apartment to get his things. Happy has been gone with Wendy and Charle for a while now so he may try to convince me to leave him the apartment as it is so Happy has some place to come back to. I know he will try something but I already have it taken care of." Loki raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing. In contemplative silence, they made their way to Lucy's home.

* * *

Upon arriving, Lucy stopped and turned to Loki. "Hey," she started, "I'm going to have you and Taurus stay out here while I finish packing." The lion spirit made to ask why but was silenced by Lucy as she called upon Taurus. With a pop and a loud "Moo! Luuucy!" Taurus appeared flexing his muscles.

"Hey babe!" the bull called, "Virgo told us everything that has been goin' on. Need me to bust some heads before I rest my head in your bust?" Reaching for the mage, Lucy dodged and replied, "No, thanks! I just need you to stand guard out here with Loki in case of any disturbances."

As Lucy made to walk into her apartment, Loki stopped her. "Do you have an idea of what you're going to do?" he asked.

Lucy sighed, running her fingers through her short locks. "Yes, I have a tentative plan." she stated, "I'm going to pack all the things important to me and leave the rest here. I want to learn more about my real family. I never knew my parents families. My mother was a stellar mage and my father was a self-made business man. What I want to know is who their parents were and if they had siblings, anything really. This experience with the guild has made me curious about my real family. Maybe I will find something important, maybe not but it gives me somewhere to start from here."

Loki looked mildly surprised at this. "What will you do for money in the mean time?" he wondered.

"Anything I can, short of selling my body" she replied nonplussed. "There are always jobs to be done that don't go through the guilds." She held up her hand to silence her partner who was about to speak. "And no I don't plan on doing dark guild work or anything illegal. I'll work as a waitress or bartender if there is no mage work to be found."

"You do know finding and completing mage work outside of a guild will be difficult?" Loki asked worriedly.

Lucy smiled, the closest she has come to her normal smile all day. "That's what I have all you for!" At this she moved her way into the building and up to her apartment.

* * *

Once at her apartment, she spotted boxes in the hallway. 'Good', she thought, 'Virgo must have packed up all of Natsu's things and things that were mementos from our relationship for me as I asked her to. At least I won't have to worry about that now.' Humming she moved into her apartment. Two closed suitcases and a half filled trunk lay in the front room. Lucy stooped down and opened the two suitcases. Both were full of her clothes and toiletries, even the item she took on her mission were cleaned and packed. "Thank you Virgo." she whispered to no one. The trunk had a few of her books, her diary and the box of letters to her mother in it. Moving around quickly, Lucy went about packing the rest of the items and trinkets that she wished to take with her. She had already informed her landlady that she would be leaving tonight and that to cover the rest of her rent that she would leave all the major furniture in the rooms. After hearing her story, Mrs. Landlady was more than ok with that and she even gave Lucy back her security deposit. Just as she was finishing up, she heard a ruckus outside. She sighed, knowing that this last confrontation needed to happen. With one last look around the place, she turned off all the lights, placed her baggage out in the hall way and locked the door for the last time.

Lucy made her way back down to the front of the building. She spotted Natsu in a heated argument with both Loki and Taurus. Still angry, Lucy pushed open the doors and walked up to the trio, stepping in-between them. "Stop. You're causing a scene. Taurus would you please go up stairs and grab the 2 suitcases and the trunk and bring it down here." Taurus stared at Lucy, "You sure?" She nodded. "Alright then.", the bull moved towards the building and entered. Turning to her ex, Lucy glared at him, "What do you want Natsu? I thought this," she motioned between them, "was done and over."

Natsu exploded. "What the hell do you mean, Luce?! I didn't even have a chance to talk to you or explain anything!"

"There's nothing to really explain." Lucy stated angrily, "You have been cheating on me behind my back, everyone at the guild knew about it and no one had the guts to tell me about it!"

"Lucy," he started, "I didn't mean for things to turn out this way. I really thought that I felt everything for you but.." Lucy cut him off, "But _I'm_ not Lisanna! Look Natsu, _you_ were in the wrong here! I _am_ leaving, tonight by the way, and I'm not coming back anytime soon. It's not just you, it's the guild that betrayed me." Natsu seemed to pale at this. "There is nothing you can say or do that will change this Natsu." Taurus had come down with her luggage. Lucy made to move away when Natsu changed tactics.

"What the hell did you do with my things? Where am I supposed to live?" he yelled.

Lucy rounded on him. "Your _things_ are packed in boxes in the hallway and I don't give a damn where you live from now on. This was _my_ apartment and I have already talked to the landlady, dissolving my lease. All your extra items are still in the storage unit were they put when you moved in." Lucy sneered. "Maybe you can move in with Lisanna, not that you'll get much play with Elfman in the house. Now I need to get going, the train I plan on catching leaves in an hour. I have nothing more to say to you and I don't need to hear any more of you excuses." Natsu glared at Lucy and stomped off into the building, muttering under his breath the whole way.

Lucy sighed again, for what seemed the 100th time tonight. Turning to her spirit friends, "Loki, Taurus, would you please help me get my luggage to the station." They both nodded, small smiles on both. "Thanks guys!" she called and she smiled. Her friends turned and picked up her luggage, following her on the way towards the station.

* * *

Lucy thanked her friends and dismissed them. They both hugged her and smiled. As Taurus melted away, Loki stayed. "Lucy," he said, "I hope you find what you need out there. We will all be with you and I hope you can find something to fill the emptiness in you." He smiled widely and hugged her one last time before he melted away back to the spirit world.

Bags stored and in her compartment, Lucy settled down for her trip. 'I do wish that I could have seen Gray and Erza one last time,' she wondered. As the train started to move, she looked at the window, not noticing the half-naked mage and the red-haired woman moving down the platform.


End file.
